Saber Marionette Fanfictastic?

Well, I decided since I can type now that my hand is healed(after that Futae no Kiwami session) that I'd write a Saber Marionette fanfic. This is the first fanfic that I've ever written so I'm turning to you guys to get info on changes I should make in my style... etc.

Well, here goes the longest post I've ever posted...(I wonder if it'll fit)

Episode 1 : My Own Marionette?!?

Lorelei was working in her laboratory on the sixth basement floor of
Castle Japoness on repairing Marine's Virgin Circuits.
It was a dark and depressing place for her to work in, but it felt
good to her that she was helping her friends. "If only I could
find someone to help me with all of this," Lorelei thought aloud in a
depressed voice as she wished for someone to be there and to help in
her work.

"Lorelei!, it seems Baiko and I have discovered another section of
Castle Japoness in the bottom level," Tamasaburo proclaimed in her
serious voice. "Come, there is something else we must show you", Baiko
added.

The three approached the closest elevator and entered. It was a relief
for Lorelei to be able to find this metal elevator door since all the
other sliding elevator doors were made out of wood. The ding of the
elevator could be heard and the doors closed.

Lorelei looked over at the serious looking Baiko and questioned
"You spoke of something you had to show me..." "Yes, it seems that
a bright light is coming from this new section and we need you to
analyze it." Tamasaburo stepped in, "The glow is very similar to
the glow of a marionettes incubator and I have no memory of this in
my database of Ieyasu."

The elevator door opened and Tamasaburo & Baiko led Lorelei to
the source of their confusion.

"I wonder why this section has been kept hidden?" questioned Lorelei
to herself as she entered the newly discovered basement of the Castle.

In the basement Baiko attempted to direct the curious Lorelei's attention
to a bright light coming from a distance. The light had a very eery
and distinct glow to it... Which the three followed.

*gasps*

"I had no clue such a machine existed!", said Lorelei in
front of the incubator for what seemed to be a marionette. The three
realized that this wasn't what looked like a normal marionette... It had
the figure of a man!

"We have to leave this place right now, this is a marionette that may be
extremely dangerous", said Lorelei in a determined voice. Tamasaburo
and Baiko agreed with Lorelei and took off at a speed that the wind
pushed Lorelei backwards into the Incubator.

"Oh crap!", T and B yelled as they zoomed back in an attempt to stop Lorelei
from falling. They were too late, a high frequency light blanketed the
surrounding area and hands came out of the incubator and grabbed Lorelei
gently on the shoulders.

A heart beat could be heard, and inside of the male marionettes head
he sees "Program 1 Start, eh?"

"I am MHS 01S, What is your name my lovely master?" questioned a voice that sounded mysteriously familiar.
"My name is Lorelei," she responded with a shocked tone. "Lorelei,
What a beautiful name!!" stated the male Marionette.

Lorelei turned around to find a tall blond marionette wearing
spandex. "We better get you into some more appropriate clothing,"
Lorelei said while blushing.

"After that we'll figure out a good name
for you over at Otaru's place", Lorelei was showing signs that this
situation was getting her excited.

An hour later Lorelei and MHS 01S exited Castle Japones and went on
their way to the Mamiya household. "These are great clothes, Master," the
marion said as he examined his clothing of dress pants, a white shirt and
a blazing Kamehameha. "Please you don't need to call me master, the name
Lorelei is fine with me," replied Lorelei.

"OHAYO Lorelei", yelled Lime as she greeted Lorelei.

"Who's the guy your with Lorelei?" questioned Bloodberry in a shy tone.

"That's why I came, this morning Tamasaburo and Baiko approached me
with news of a secret room in Castle Japoness, and when I went to
investigate I found him in an incubator similar to the ones Otaru found
you three marionettes in," Lorelei responded in a somewhat calm yet excited
voice.

Suddenly the sound of disco came from below them and Hanagata arose through
an opening in the floor. "OHHH MY LOVELY OTTTARRRUUU KUUNNNN, DON'T YOU
SEE THAT NOW MACHINES HAVE A BEAUTIFUL FIGURE!!! WHY COULDN'T YOU GET
MARIONETTES LIKE H@&#*@&!!", stated Hanagata annoying the male
marionette so much that he reverse round housed Hanagata into the sky
"BWA BWA BEAU-TI-FUL!!!".

"Anyways!, I came to ask you for your help in naming MHS 01S."

Lime thought for about ten seconds with extreme determination of find
an awesome name to give to the new marionette,
she decided and yelled, "Bob!!"

A silence followed as everyone but MHS 01S gave Lime a strange look.
"That's a great name!!!", MHS 01S yelled with great exitement and rose
his hands in the air hitting the falling Hanagata back into the sky.

Otaru, Cherry, Bloodberry and Lorelei fall to the ground with their
feet up in the air. Lorelei thought for a moment, "I guess Bob is an
okay name to give him..." then she realized, "But where did you come from
Bob?"

"I came from the sky straight to your heart," responded the ladies man
marionette.

Lime, Cherry went all cute eyed, "AWWWWW, How Cute!"

Bloodberry resisted the urge to gag...

Cherry examines Bob's Circuit with her sensors, "According to his
'Virgin?' circuit, the data says he is from Canadia."

"Is Canadia good to eat," Lime puzzledly questioned.

"No Canadia is a country far in the great north, eh?" came a voice
from the door.

The four marionettes jumped in front of their masters to protect
them from any danger. "Who are you and why were you spying in my
Otaru's house?" Bloodberry hastily inquired the tall scruffy looking
man at the door.

After a few minute of concentration Cherry stated, "My records
are picking up that Canadia is a country that was created by an
adventurer from Romania, they mainly do trade with New Texas."

"Hey take off, eh! That's why I'm here...to explain stuff,"
The Canadian said in a voice that was supposed to be serious.
"Anyways, to introduce myself, I am Richard Belanger the leader
of Canadia...". "Now to explain, 200 years ago Scientists from
Canadia gathered with Scientists from Gartland and Japones to create
marionettes that could only be awakened by a human female, that
being Lorelei."

Otaru was quickly becoming impatient, "If Lime, Cherry and
Bloodberry and the Saberdolls mission was to awaken Lorelei,
then what is Bob supposed to do?"

Bob, wondering why it really matters says, "I keep on having
this burning desire to protect Lorelei, maybe I'm supposed to
protect her..."

"That's right eh," We made three MHS marionettes in order to protect
Lorelei once she was awakened.

"I figured that there would be three marionettes," Lorelei whispered out
loud.

"The three Eiyuu circuits represent Virtue, Fatherhood,
and Honour. The MHS 01S represents honour," explained the
Richard.

Lime not paying attention to anything else that is happening goes up
to Bob, "Hey, you want me to show you around Japones, right?" After
a few moments of contemplation Bob responds "Are you sure we should
leave Lorelei without protection?"

"We should all go and show you the Ponta Kun village, or the museum!"
Lorelei said giving a pretty smile.

Lime blurted out "haha, I was born in the museum!!" as if it were
pre-programmed whenever she heard the word.

Suddenly the ground shook violently, as if mother Ponta Kun came to
town.

In an angered voice Bob yelled "What is happening?!?"

Everyone ran outside to find Castle Japones under attack.

"Lorelei, Lorelei come in" yelled Baiko through a communicator
Lorelei was carrying.

"You must leave town immediately! These opponents are too strong
for The Kika sabers to hold off...." Baiko's message ended with
static.

It was too late, in front of them landed a samurai marionette
who yelled "Death is the only way out!"

Lime, Cherry and Bloodberry rushed into battle and destroyed the first
Samurai. Bob seemed to be meditating behind them with two of right
held fingers held up.

Twenty seven more samurai marionettes landed in front of them, leaving Lime,
Cherry and Bloodberry wondering why Bob isn't assisting them.

"Hey don't be afraid, you're fighting to protect Lorelei," Lime
yelled in a voice towards Bob.

Bloodberry getting angry stated "Yeah, get the hell over here and
show us what you're made of!!"

Now with an aura around him, Bob told the three marionettes to move
out of the way. Bringing his hands together into a parabolic shape
he released an energy blast at the samurai marionettes causing all of
them to disintegrate.

"Whoa... Now that kicked ass!" Bloodberry screamed in excitement.

"That took out most a few of them, I must bring Lorelei, Otaru and
Richard to a safe place... I'm counting on you to defeat the remaining
Samurai marionettes," ordered Bob.

"Please, take care of our Otaru Sama..." begged Cherry.

Lime, Cherry and Bloodberry acknowledged an quickly sped towards
Castle Japoness and met up with the damaged Tamasaburo and Baiko.

"Where is Lorelei?" Tamasaburo asked the three marionettes while
holding off a samurai marionette.

"She's safe, the new marionette is looking after her," Lime replied
laughingly.

"That's what we're worried about..." Baiko added with strain in her
larynx unit.

Lime, Cherry and Bloodberry confusedly fought with the two Sabers
to defeat the remaining samurai.

"What is to be worried about Gramps an', I mean Baiko and Tamasaburo?"
Bloodberry shook away the notion.

"We believe that Bob may cause Lorelei to have flashbacks of the
Mesopotamia incident from 300 years ago," said Tamasaburo.

"It seems that the same technology that was used to create the
circuit for the Mesopotamia was used in MHS 01S," added her partner.

"Nah, don't worry... we'll be sure to keep a good eye on Bob for
you!" Lime stated as she winked and stared at Tamasaburo and Baiko
with her right eye.

"BOB?!?!??!", the two sabers yelled as they fell over shocked.

"Yup, Lime named him and he loved the name... If someone can
like Lime's crazy names then they must be a good person," Bloodberry
said with a sadistic smile on her face.

"HEY!!" Lime pouted.

Bob, Lorelei, Richard and Otaru were in the Basement of the Japones
museum sharing stories about their past. This place especially
reminded him of the hillarious stories of Lime, such as being chased
around Castle Japoness by guards because she broke a "Lumpy pot".

"I can't seem to detect any more samurai marionettes I guess we're safe
to leave this place," Bob thought aloud.

The 4 excited the museum and headed for the Castle.

That night a party was held at the Mamiya residence celebrating the
arrivalof Lorelei's first marionette. And to their luck Richard
the Canadian brought three cases of beer with him...

Bloodberry, drunk as heck on beer yells "You CAnaDIans ssher nO
hoW to meiKe GREAT DRINKS!!!-hiccup"

"Bloodberry! You're taking all the beer!!!" Screamed Hanagata in
a voice that was supposed to be intimidating.

Suddenly what appeared like a beat up Samurai marionette enters through the wooden sliding door.

"D-o-n'-t y-o-u s-e-e t-h-a-t h-e l-o-ve-s y-o-u, Lo-re," the samurai falls to the ground.

_____________________________________________________________________
Hey Everyone, Bob here. What is this Mesopotamia everyone is talking about, and what do I have to do with it? And who's this? Another marionette like me?
next episode is "Lorelei, am I not your first love?". Lorelei, you
are the one I love!


Disclaimer:

Saber Marionette J is owned and copyrighted by Satoru Akahori, Hiroshi Negishi,
Tsukasa Kotobuki, Kadokawa Shoten, Bandai Visual,
AnimeVillage.com, Sotsu Agency, TV Tokyo. The works written are
"fan fiction", created by a fan for fans. I do not intend to gain
profit though this, nor do I claim ownership of the characters or
locations within.

A note:

This is the first fan fiction I've ever written. I love reading fanfics!
especially SMJ vs M...this is a friend of mine's awesome fanfic that
inspired me to write my own. As for Saber Marionette, it is one of my
all time favourite anime And this fanfic was so great because I
felt like the legendary Satoru Akahori, the dude who created SMJ.


Eiyuu = Great Man



[This message has been edited by That guy! (edited 11-27-2001).]

 

strange... It didn't show in the listings on the main page. Maybe it's too long or something.


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@_@x

 

I noticed lately that this forum been dying lately so I decided to scoop out some of the threads made before I came around and when there was maybe 100+ members? Then I found this little fanfic within the dustly archives of this forum.

I have to say I liked the story through and through, and who could resist naming someone bob? it's the most possibly the best simple name out there. I am rather confused with the ending though. I'm hoping maybe you have or remember some bits of the 2nd chapter and if you do, would you be kind enough to send it on PM or my e-mail.

 

Nice Story....

Why don't you put this in fanfiction.net so everyone can see it? Or did you do so already?