Recreation Funniest thing you've EVER heard/seen!?

^_^ How sweet! Little kitties!
Pretty much everything on www.funny.com is great.
"Things to do in a Wal*Mart" might be there! That's the best! LMAO!

 

Well.......

1.Jingle All the Way.Remember this movie?Not many do.That fact that it was even made makes me laugh.It's the worst movie ever(next to Spice World,of course).

2.People who are totally controlled by their kids.Like the parents you see in the grocery store.Their kid starts cryin' and they panic and start tellin them all the stuff they can do to make them feel better.It's hilarious.

3.I guess there really is no denying the funnyness factor of a guy that can't eat his yogurt,Exiz.Did he cry when it happened?Or get mad at least?Oh man,I wish I could have seen it.

 

My friend Brett was trying to hit on this really hot girl and said, "Hi my name is Breast, oh, crap, I mean Brett."

Hilarius

Oh and another one:

We took my aunt, uncle and thier kids to a local Chili resturant. They have these little hot sauce bottles at every table that look like generic ketsup bottles. My overprotective aunt orders my little cousin a hot dog and dumps this stuff on it 'cause my little cousin loves ketsup. No one noticed this until my cousin takes a bite and screams like Satan is on her heels.

My cousin and I are trying to keep in our laughter as my aunt makes a huge scene. Then I burst out laughing and my aunt goes off at me.

My cousin and I almost died laughing.

 

My coworker Eric thinks hes like, Albino. Great guy, but. He gets so thugged out and its so ridiculous b/c he's white.

So, I'm mopping up a room yesterday.
"Yo, E, watch out. the floors a lil-"
My sentence is cut short by a spasm of laughter as Eric falls on his ***. Not only did he wound his pride, but his pants were stained with the floor cleaning shtuffs.
"Strokee, you bastard."
"I warned you, dude."
"...bastard."
"*****."
"Cracker."
"Casper."
"White boy."
"Go change your pants, fool."

Almost forgot! Great quote from him: "I wanna be black so bad I want sickle cell anemia."

 

also,
drunk people talking bout video games.
theyr like
"and a boom! and then he goes "Freeze, and then u shoot him in da willie, and he dies. hee hee haa haa. koo wee whoop. and then the zombie come get u, oh yeah... i know why the zombies are all after that jill.... shes hooottt. whoop pee."
heh, that was one of my friends brothers freind, when he drank too much.
lol.
it sounds stupid there, but when u actually see it. roflol. it is hilarious.

 

I see waaaaaaaaaaay (and do) way to much insane stuff to pick any one thing out, to be honest.

 

this is now the bloodiest funny thing i have seen this year and it takes the dang cake home... hehahahha!
this fool tuesday night drunk bleach.. he was cookooo a bit .. felt sorry for him but when he got physical that is it! but he was saying how "Is my chest out is my chest out" "white men everywhere.. we tunneling out of the casket" the pateinsts at the hospital were beyond pissed.. he goes "me and my dagwg did crack" the nurse says "did you sniff any" lol rotf that was too funny shhhooot i wil lnever forget .. i wish i had a cam coder ffs"

 

go with my dad and me to a restaurant and watch a really fat couple eat. seriously, my dad is the king of one-liners. i foyu dont believe come down here, he hasnt been beaten by an insult yet. he's not even drunk at the time its hilarious.

 

My dad waiting for his food at a fastfood restraunt hahahah lets say this my dad is worse than a salior on swearing...I counted in five minutes about two hundred and thrity two times he sweared in a row.He actually made some sense when he was rampaging but yeah its a blast hearing him do that.

 

A funny thing that comes to mind is a story my brother-in-law told me about his earlier days as an emt. (Some may find it a bit inappropirate, so I apologize if it offends you somehow).

It was one of his first days on an actual run and they were picking up a lady who was having pregnancy problems. She was bleeding heavily and they needed to prep some.. stuff (I don't remember all the medical terms ^_^) Anywho, they asked my brother-in-law if he wanted to help prepare (whatever it was) for the lady, but he felt that he wasn't ready enough to do it. So he said "No thank you, I think I'll just sit back here and absorb"

 

this happend a couple days ago. but me and my friend, were pretending to be ninja's and tried to practice the 'sennen goroshi.' (thousand years of pain. like you get your two fingers, and jab 'em up someones arsehole. from naruto.) so then we were sitting down on the chair, and there were these guys who stood right in front of us. (back faced towards us) so my friend did the hand thing, and the guy stepped back. right into my friends fingers. he screamed like a girl... lol. that was hilarious.

my friend had to wash her hands for about 15 minutes after that.

 

Ahh yes, the fabled "Kancho." Makes me wonder if the Japanese are really all they say they are...

 

After prolonged exposure to Japanese pop culture, you will either love it with fanatical obsession or have an odd love/hate relationship with it.

Fanatical obsession will lead to you believing the Japanese superior on all fronts, ignoring all the negatives of their society, and cause you to want to BE Japanese. You will enroll in Japanese classes so you can watch anime without subtitles; you will do your utmost to eat Japanese food as often as you can; any video game not programmed by the Japanese will be trash and you'll listen to any Japanese-pop you can get your hands on, even though it's just the same stuff we have here with foreign lyrics.

Additionally, you will insert random Japanese words into your everyday speech. Some do this to sound cultured; others specifically want to confuse people. An example would be "So I told that baka" or "You stupid gaijin".

At this point, you have transcended the normal anime fan. You are not even just an otaku. You are an animu nerd. (animu being a play-on of the Japanese trait of ending many words, especially those with no direct translation, with -u) At this point it will prove impossible to attract a girlfriend save for the rare animu girl, and this will in turn increase your obsession with Japanese everything. All your normal friends will dump you now.

YOU ALL KNOW SOMEBODY LIKE THIS.

Those with a love/hate relationship, however, are different. They'll appreciate some anime, provided the content is entertaining. They'll find many aspects of Japanese modern culture intriguing and entertaining. They'll also find many aspects that are positively sad. For them, modern Japan is not a land of mysticism, tradition or mature society; it's a blaring neon cowgirl samurai screeching high pitched tunes while playing DDR while several hastily animated pink monkeys leap around her, forming a heart. She may or may not be inventing a new fetish while she does this.

Japan, you confuse me. You have enough husbands who view wives as replacement mothers to such an extent that stand-in lovers are acceptable because the women don't get any sex; you have pillows shaped like a womans lap for the desperately lonely; you have such a problem with men groping women on the subway you have to open a sex-segregated line.

And yet, I love you despite, or possibly for all your ludicrousness. You're a trip to Bizarro World and back again.

Oh, and gorgeous women.

I knew I loved you for something.

 

... so then i guess i'm an animu girl...? hn. well, glad i'm japanese...

well, this kinda really scary thing happened last week. but my homeroom teacher is the pe teacher, and he's REALLY scary. anyway, his door was jammed (while he was in it) and me and my friend tried to push the door open, and well, it did. then we saw the teacher shaving his legs.

(no wonder they were always so shiny...)

that scarred us for life.

 

what the heck?!!!?

 

lol, confusing.... yo ne?

 

i drowned in 3 foot water....i can swim, but i can't stand on the steps.

 

Well what comes to mind is when i've had to stay with Mike lately..heh heh

Well I have a bad habit of just listening to music and not paying attention to
what other people are doing...so I just was in the bathroom the other day and
I was about to take a shower so i got in thte bathroom and I know this is TMI
but I got my shirt off(no bra) and turned around to hear laughing...Micheal had been taking a bath..had the water off and curtains closed..and he got
up and started laughing and I seen his whole body...He was like OOOO LOOK!
AND I was like OOOHHHHHH I SEE SOMETHING....And we both were just so
stupid about it..He doesn't like to bring up it that much though..that was stupid but if you seen the look on his face..you would of laughed your ass off!

 

3 feet? Were you really short, weighted, or doing it on purpose? Anyway, someone'll mourn your pasing, since you said you drowned.

 

... so it's like she's a ghost.... hn.
but don't worry, kagome_akari! i nearly drowned in water less than a foot deep. more like 6 inches.... then i got myself up, and noticed that my cousin was drowning, so i saved him. ^__^ *pounds chest.* i know, i'm so AWESOME! lol.

so that's like you saw eachother naked...?